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MESS...♥♥

●мαтѕυι яєиα ωαтαиαвє мαуυ кαтσ яυмι..
♥ ωмαтѕυι мαуυкι яαвυѕαѕнι яυмιzυкι кυмιуυяι gσмαуυккσ єяємуασ кαиαкι ѕнαωαкαяιи мαѕαииα αтѕυмιиα кσנιуυυ мαяιнαяυ тσмσтσмσ..




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Just Another Wota: ; _____; ACCHAN.

justanotherwota:

It’s been a very long three days for me, for all of us here on Tumblr, and for all AKB48 fans.

Before I went offline yesterday, I told satsunyan “Good night. I hope AKB48 still exists when I wake up”. ; ___; Maybe I should’ve hoped a little harder.

Honestly, I expected Mariko-sama to graduate…

satsunyan:

justanotherwota:

z3144228:

涙

It’s been a long three days…

2012 has been a rollercoaster of emotion, and we’re still in the first half.

satsunyan:

justanotherwota:

z3144228:

It’s been a long three days…

2012 has been a rollercoaster of emotion, and we’re still in the first half.

satsunyan:

[Angst][AtsuMina]”I’m Sorry”[SongFic][Part 2]

A/N: I’m sorry for all the tears I brought! OTZ. I will make sure that your tears were well received and… I will make sure that I will make you happy with this part two!  

This second part is also a double song fic. =]

“I love you too.”

~R.A. (arisa03/Satsunyan)

July 7th, Song: I Wanna Go To A Place – Rie Fu [Translation/Lyrics]

I wanna go to a place where I can say
That I’m all right I’m staying there with you
I wanna know if there could be anyway
That there’s no fight, and I’m safe and sound with you



“Atsuko-kun, are you sure about this?” Akimoto Yasushi said as he waited for a response from the Face of AKB.

“Atsuko…!” Takahashi Minami thought to herself as she gripped her fists tight. Her eyes closed, her heart wanting to jump out of her chest, her brain shouting at her.

“Reach out to her hand, Minami!”

But she couldn’t. She remained there… eavesdropping.

“Yes.” Maeda Atsuko said firmness, sadness, and hesitation in her tone. That was the last thing Takahashi Minami wanted to hear.

That was the last thing… Takahashi Minami ever wanted to happen.

“Atsuko-kun, I don’t know if this is about the haters, but this is your life you’re deciding.” Akimoto-san said and placed his elbows on his desk, his hands together. “What do you plan on doing after graduating from AKB?”

“Continue my studies. I will stop going into the idol industry.” Maeda Atsuko answered. This time… an answer filled with confidence.

And every time I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don’t see it anymore cause I see through you now

“Atsuko!! Don’t do this!!!” Minami’s mind was telling her to shout, but she couldn’t. Eavesdropping was already wrong…

“I don’t know, I really want you to stay in AKB, Atsuko-kun. But this is your life you’re deciding.” He told her. “You’re old enough to know what you want to do.”

“Atsuko… please don’t do this…” Minami told her brain as she fought back tears. She couldn’t cry now. She couldn’t let Acchan know that she knew about this.

“Yes. And this is what I want to do. I do not deserve being the Face of AKB. Please… give the new title to Yuko.” Maeda Atsuko said firmly once more. Her façade cracking, she bowed at Akimoto Yasushi. “Onegaishimasu.”

“I can’t do that. This will be yours to decide, Atsuko-kun.” Akimoto Yasushi said and stood up from his chair and looked out the window. “It’s your decision to announce your graduation after Tomorrow’s Stage. If you do not announce it, then I will be able to breathe normally, and be glad you are continuing. But if you do…” He swallowed. Maeda Atsuko was his asset. He handpicked her as the face of this group, “It has been a fun and successful six years, Maeda-san.” His tone was different, cold, and distant.

Even now I think I haven’t noticed this peaceful sky
but I always remember that I still don’t have a place to return to

This gesture made Maeda Atsuko stern and frozen on her spot, looking down on the carpet of the room as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Takahashi Minami quickly walked out and sat by the entrance of the office to pretend she had been waiting there all the time.

“I will make sure to make the correct decision, Akimoto-san.” Holding back her tears, biting down on her lower lip, she bowed. “Thank you for the all the hard work.” (A/N: Otsukaresama Deshita) She opened the door behind her and walked out.

And my heart silently awakens and becomes aware
that one day I’ll surely see kindness again

“Mi~nami!” She greeted her friend with a fake smile and glomped her from behind. “Let’s go?”

“Oh, of course!” Takahashi Minami answered her and gave her an extremely fake smile as they left the premises.

They both walked out talking about everything, laughing, chuckling… being joyful. You could see the pain in Takahashi Minami’s eyes as she watched her best friend…

The girl she loved the most

Blatantly lie to her like it’s natural.

“Atsuko…” She thought to herself, still trying to fight those tears wanting to come out since she heard the word ‘graduate’ for the first time since Ono Erena’s.

What’s stopping me? I get stuck again
Is it really OK? It’s never OK for me
What’s got into me? I get lost again
Is it really OK? It’s never going to be

“Well then, I go this way, Minami. Take care, okay?” Maeda Atsuko told her and waved her goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Let’s do our best!” She raised a fist for a short fist pump in the air and smiled. “I love you, Minami.” She told herself as she went inside their house and Takamina walked past their gates.

“Goodbye, Minami.” She told herself those words, as tears fell from eyes immediately once the small Captain disappeared from her vision.

“I’m home~” She said as she removed her shoes and immediately climbed the stairs.

“Ah, Acchan~ Are you gonna eat dinner?” Her mother asked her, which she immediately replied with a ‘No~’ with and went into her room and locked the door.

Mrs. Maeda took out her cellular phone and stared at the message plastered at it.

Your daughter has decided to graduate from AKB.
Has she told you anything about it?

-          Akimoto Yasushi.

-         

“Acchan…” Mrs. Maeda thought to herself and hugged her phone. “Please… decide on what you really want to do…”

And I search more, right before my eyes I become aware
that tomorrow the wind’s direction will certainly change
The wind whispers softly, and the earth moves
If I don’t lose my way, I’ll surely see kindness again

“I guess I’ll see her tomorrow.” Takahashi Minami basically talked to no one as she walked farther and farther from Atsuko’s house. When suddenly…

Tears began falling from her eyes.

“Like hell I’ll see her after tomorrow!” She basically shouted at the ground, hands balled into fists. “Atsuko…” She crouched down and kneeled on the cement in the darkness of an alley.

“Atsuko… Atsuko… Atsuko…” Minami repeated her name repeatedly as tears continued to pour out her eyes. “I love you… don’t leave me… I need you… Atsuko…” She clasped her hands together, raising them in front of her as if praying to God. “Don’t leave me… Atsuko… I can’t be AKB without you… Without the face I love… Atsuko…”

And every time I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don’t see it anymore cause I see through you now

Minami continued crying in the middle of nowhere as if she was repenting for all of the sins she did. Where… the only thing that she really have sinned for was…

Refusing to accept their love.

“You may hate me but… please don’t hate AKB!!”

“I guess I can continue to stand on that fighting feeling. That feeling that I shouldn’t lose.”

“I feel like… something bad… something that all of us do not expect is going to happen soon.”

“Also… I think your confession might be the only thing that can save her now.”

Yuko’s and Atsuko’s words repeated into her mind. They were pushing her. Pushing her to save her, slapping her on the back like… “Go get her back!”

“Goodbye, Minami.”

Takahashi Minami immediately stood up from the spot that she was kneeling on and ran back to the direction she came from.

“Atsuko! Wait for me, Atsuko!” She talked to herself as she let her short legs carry her back to her beloved’s house. “I’m going to save you.”

“I love you, Atsuko.” She continued running as she pulled out her cell phone from her pocket.

I wanna go to a place where I can say
That I’m all right I’m staying there with you

The doorbell to the Maeda Residence rang and Mrs. Maeda quickly answered the door.

“Ara—Minami-cha—“

“Can I please talk to Atsuko?” Minami said in between pants, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. “Please!” She bowed in front of Mrs. Maeda, her head in front of her knees, her arms at her side.

“Don’t be so formal, Minami-chan. I was just waiting for you.” Mrs. Maeda smiled at the short female and patted her head. “Raise that pretty head of yours.”

“I’m sorry.” Takamina said as she caught her breath.

“Come inside and let’s talk for a bit, okay?” Mrs. Maeda said and led Takahashi Minami inside.

Takamina went inside the house and was seated in the living room in the silence of the evening.

Until the clock struck twelve in the morning…

July 8th, Takaramono – Mizuki Nana [Translation/Lyrics]

If I could just find once again,
The treasure box I’d lost
The pure encounter and
The farewell that I know will come someday

“As I suspected, there is something wrong.” Mrs. Maeda said as she sat across Minami in their living room, playing with her fingers. She saw Takahashi Minami nod at her.

“I would like to sincerely apologize for realizing this too late.” Takahashi Minami said and bowed, her expression serious. Tears weren’t present anymore on her face. Instead was…

Courage. Courage to bring back Maeda Atsuko. Courage… to save her.

“Did you know?” Mrs. Maeda said in a soft tone. “In the middle of the night… I would hear Acchan say something. A whisper.”

Takamina just looked at her in confusion.

“She’s saying…” Mrs. Maeda looked at her, tears threatening to fall. “’I need you, Minami.’” Mrs. Maeda told her. “She says it every night… and then cries herself to sleep.” This time the tears of a mother fell down her cheeks. “And I can’t do anything to help her with it.”

Takahashi Minami bit her upper lip and looked down, tears threatening to fall from her eyes again. “I… didn’t know she was suffering this much… What kind of friend am I…?”

“But that’s not all.” Mrs. Maeda said as she balled her right hand into a fist and let her left hand cover it softly. “She said… ‘Minami, I love you so much… I don’t want to bother you anymore.’”

These words made Takahashi Minami’s eyes grow wide. Mrs. Maeda stood up from her chair.

If you realize, just nearby there,
Are stars that stretch endlessly
Because beyond the dazzling light
Everyone’s right there

She took something from her pocket and took Takahashi Minami’s hand.

“She said, ‘I love AKB… but I can’t drag them down with myself.’” She slowly opened Takahashi Minami’s hand and put her closed right hand over it.

“She said, ‘I don’t want to leave, but I have to.’” She handed Takamina something in the shape of a key.

“She said, ‘I love everyone… but no matter how strong my love for them is… it won’t be enough of an apology once I spread the hate of fans to them.’” She closed Takamina’s hand as tears rolled down the cheeks of the short captain.

“She said, ‘I don’t want to leave… Goodbye, Minami, I love you…’” She then put back Takamina’s closed hand to her side. “That’s the key to her room. Use it when you must. Please save my daughter.”

Mrs. Maeda took a step back, and bowed a complete 180 degrees at Takahashi Minami.

“Leave it to me, Maeda-san.” Takamina told her in confidence and smiled.

“You have to call me Mom, once you get out of there.” Mrs. Maeda told her and smiled.

Takahashi Minami then ascended those stairs.

Being enveloped by a great love
When the sad lies have disappeared
Only the beautiful world that’s reflected in these eyes
Is here now; you’re not alone anymore

Knock. Knock.

Maeda Atsuko sat at the side of her bed, her knees up to her chin, her head resting atop them. She was blankly staring at nothing. She knew someone knocked, but she didn’t want to answer it.

She felt empty.

She felt dead.

She felt…

Nothing.

Knock. Knock.

Maeda Atsuko slowly got up from her bed and put her hand around the doorknob. Assuming it was her mother, she opened the door with a questioning expression, only to find the person she didn’t want to see the most behind it.

Takahashi Minami.

“Atsu—“ her words were cut short. Atsuko immediately closed the door, locked it and leaned her back on it.

“Atsuko. Please, open the door.” Takahashi Minami pleaded. Atsuko remained quiet.

“Atsuko… I know you decided to graduate.” Takahashi Minami spoke in courage.  That dreaded word sent chills towards Atsuko as if they were lightning that suddenly struck her in the heart.

Tears immediately escaped her eyes. She bit her lips to make her crying as silent as possible.

“Atsuko, don’t do this…” Takahashi Minami said her voice dying. “Don’t leave me alone…” Her voice was sad and longing…

“I love you, Atsuko.” She said in firmness and honesty.

Atsuko’s head shot up, as she turned around to face the door. Resting her palms flat on the door’s surface, her tears started growing more numerous… her sobs uncontainable. She grasped onto nothing, turning her thin fingers into a fist.

“Atsuko… don’t cry.” Minami said, sweetness in her voice. She couldn’t cry now. She needs to show Maeda that she was serious. She needed to show her that she was strong. She needed to show her… that she can rely on her anytime.

She needed to tell her she needs her.

“But you’re too late… Minami.” Maeda Atsuko said as she kneeled down in front of her door. “I… love you too much… don’t do this to my resolve… Minami.”

I will continue singing songs
In this moment, to me
The smiles that are overflowing importantly
Those are
Treasures

Takahashi Minami gripped the key tighter as she heard Atsuko’s cries getting louder. She swallowed hard her tears and remained calm and tearless.

“Oh yes, I’ll break all your resolve as much as I want!” She shouted at the door and unlocked it. “Because I’m selfish and I want you to be mine!”

Atsuko stared at the floor in front of her, tears flowing down her cheeks as she sobbed. “You shouldn’t do that! You should hate me! Hate me, Minami! HATE ME!” She shouted at the ground as she pounded it.

Minami opened the door, kneeled in front of the female, and engulfed her in a hug. The Face of AKB struggled against the hug. She pushed Takamina away. She pushed her again and again, but she couldn’t seem to get rid of her.

“I could never hate you, Atsuko.” Minami said as she hugged her tighter, putting her chin on Atsuko’s shoulder. “Even if I tried, I’d end up failing. You know how I always fail… but this time, I’ll make sure I’m successful.”

“Don’t even try, Minami.” Atsuko told her as she continued pounding on the ground, her left hand turning into a shade of pink because of too much force she was using. “I’m a waste of time. Minami, don’t do this!” She shouted at Takamina’s ear, tears still streaming down her face.

Just like when we first met
Being able to go with you straightaway
I felt happy
And I’ve become stronger since that day

“Atsuko!” Minami shouted her name as she tried to pin her arms together and stop her from hurting herself. “Atsuko!”

“Why should you even care for me?!” Atsuko continued shouting at the ground, her hands still pounding on it. “I’m a good for nothing, talentless—“

“Atsuko!”

“Poker face, ugly, who can’t do anything right—“

“ATSUKO!”

“Who can’t act, who relies on members, who relies on Takamina—“

“ATSUKO!!”

“Who rides on everyone’s rise in the industry, who doesn’t deserve the position—“

“ATSUKO!!!” Minami shouted at her as she shook her shoulders strongly. Maeda immediately stopped her rant and looked at the captain she adored so much.

“You shouldn’t love me… Minami…” She looked at Takamina with a sad face as tears continued coming out of her face. “I don’t deserve you… Minami…”

Takahashi Minami remained quiet as she stared at Maeda Atsuko’s face.

Facing the never-ending sky
The big dream that I believe in
Holding my bond with you close to my heart
I set off on my journey

“No one else deserves me but you, Atsuko.” Minami told her as she picked up her beloved’s left hand, and kissed the swollen parts from all the ground pounding. “I debuted in AKB with you. I want that career to end with you, and it’s not now. It’s not tomorrow. It’s not anytime soon.” She kissed the hand more and placed on her chest. “Can’t you hear my heart? Isn’t it pounding fast?” She asked her tenderly, her expression soft.

Maeda Atsuko just stared at her. Sniffing, tears unstoppable, she nodded.

“It’s because I’m nervous.” Minami said and hugged her, placing her forehead on Atsuko’s. “I’m nervous every time I’m around you, Atsuko. I wouldn’t be… a good leader if you weren’t there to support me.” She closed her eyes and opened them slowly. She brought up her hands on the Face’s beautiful features and removed those tears.

“And what they say is not true…” Minami told her and kissed Atsuko’s nose. “You’ve got the prettiest eyes I would ever see…”

“You’ve got the brightest smile anyone could bring me to see…” Minami told her and kissed her beloved’s forehead. “No matter how hard it is… you’ve always tried your best. You once cried while trying to practice the routine for River right? It was so hard… but… you held on, didn’t you? You did your best.”

“Only because you were there.” Maeda Atsuko answered her and sniffed. “But still… You…”

“Shh… I’m not done.” Minami told her and kissed her lips silent. She was glad to find Atsuko listening to her. Minami was glad that the female she loves the most (other than her mother) was listening to her and has stopped doing the thing that breaks her heart the most…

Crying.

Everyone’s voice is resounding
I’m already flying
Receive all those thoughts with my body
I’m off to grant everyone’s wishes

Minami then kissed Atsuko’s eyes, once on her left and once on the right. “I don’t like seeing these eyes I love so crying so much.” She told her and kissed Atsuko’s nose again. “I don’t like seeing this beautiful face having a frown.” She cupped Atsuko’s face with both her hands as they continued staring at each other.

“You’re not a poker face… you’re just extremely shy.” Minami told her and smiled. “The best actress in the group, alongside the Epic and Perverted Yuko…” She whispered into her ear and nuzzled their cheeks together.

“Who doesn’t want to trouble any member with her personal problems…” Minami wrapped her arms around Atsuko’s neck, and the other female did the same gesture. “Who doesn’t want to rely on her beloved Takamina, cause the stupid little girl might mistake this as just a means of salvation…”

Takahashi Minami rubbed the tall female’s back with her right hand. “The one who brought AKB into stardom…” She says slowly… “And if Aki-P said I’m AKB… You’re the only one who can be my Ace, Atsuko.” She smiled at her and spoke with genuine honesty. “I won’t accept anyone else. Only you.”

Minami slowly broke the hug and stared at Atsuko’s red eyes. “I love you, Atsuko, with all of my heart. Don’t leave me. Don’t graduate… Stay with me… always.” Minami closed their faces together and initiated a soft kiss. “Ignore those haters. Ending up as number 1 means a lot of people support you more than those haters, right?”

“But… what if… this starts the downfall of AKB?” Atsuko said as she looked down on ground once more. “I don’t want to drag everyone down.”

“You’re not dragging everyone down.” Minami told her and smiled. “Atsuko, do you love me?” She asked her.

I can hear the voices from far away
Someday, we’ll meet, and until then
The bright futures
To me, all of them are
Treasures

“Un.” Maeda agreed, curving her lower lips up into a cute frown and blew air in her mouth for a pout and sniffed.  “More than anything.”

“When will this girl stop being so cute?”  Minami thought to herself and looked away momentarily. “Then… will you please stay with me forever?” She asked her with a smile.

“Un.” She did the same gesture as before.  “Only if you marry me.” She followed jokingly. “I’m kidding.”

“I’ll marry you.” Minami said and kissed her lips once more. “Anytime. Any day. Anywhere.” She told her. “And I’m being serious.”

“Seriously kidding?” A voice from outside said as the Face and the Captain turned to look behind them. “Yo~~”

“Yuko!” Takamina said as she stood up and helped up Atsuko. “You came!” The seriously depressed female from before just looked at them in curiosity.

“Acchan, look at you!” Yuko entered the room and stared at the Face of AKB. “You’re such a mess.” She removed a stray tear from Acchan’s cheeks. “Your fans won’t be happy if they see those, you know?”

“Oi, oi. Hands off my girl.” Takamina said as she softly pushed Yuko away from Atsuko. “You have your Nyan-nyan!”

“Oh. Speaking of Nyan-nyan…” Yuko said and opened the door wide. “Nyan-nyan?”

“I brought them!” The voice of Kojima Haruna echoed as a dozen footsteps arrived in Atsuko’s room.

With her were the rest of AKB. Although there were many of them, they all came… in the middle of the night.

“Everyone…” Atsuko said as she felt the tears coming back to her eyes.

“C’mon Acchan, leaving us isn’t as easy as you think!” Sae said as she put her arms behind her head.

“We stick like leeches you know!” Miichan said as she clings to Mayuyu’s and Yukirin’s arms.

“Y-yeah… Like… this… one!” Mayuyu said as she tried to pry away Minegishi.

“You will be AKB’s Face. And you will forever be our Ace.” Sayaka said confidently and gave her a thumb up.

“I can’t believe that you decided to graduate before me. Seriously, when Haruna sent me the message, I was in a panic, like ‘ACCHAN, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!’ and then I came here.” Mariko-sama said.

“Bah, whoever are these Haters, I’ll crush them with my own hands when I see them!” Yuko said and smacked her fist into her left palm. “The Oshima Yuko way!”

“What was that? Are you trying to refer to Majisuka?” Itano said and tapped Yuko’s shoulder.

“Majisuka?!” Everyone shouted at her and started laughing.

“Yuu-chan, you’re so lame.” Kojiharu told her and softly slapped the short female’s shoulder.

“Not you too, Nyan-nyan.” Yuko gave her the best puppy eyes she could ever muster.

“Everyone…” Atsuko said as tears started forming in her eyes again… but this time… a smile was on her face, brighter than any star in the sky.

I will continue singing songs
In this moment, to me
The smiles that are overflowing importantly
Those are
Treasures

“HEY! You guys made her cry again!” Takamina told them as she scowled at them. She raised her arms above her head in a rawr position and started growling at them. “I won’t forgive anyone who makes MY Acchan cry!”

“Oho~ Scary.” Yuko faked being scared and hid behind Haruna and took this chance to slide her arms around the tall and slender female’s body’s waist.

“Well… I suggest you cheer your Princess up, Takaboy~” Sae teased Takahashi Minami and pushed her in Atsuko’s room. “Don’t be too noisy.” She winked at them and closed the door.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Are you—“ Minami was then suddenly pulled into the warm embrace of a laughing Maeda Atsuko. “Are you still… thinking of graduating?”

“It was a stupid idea.” Maeda Atsuko told her and smiled. “Thank you, Minami.”

“Always.” Minami hugged her back and remained that way.

-End-

A/N: Did you all think that your tears are all worth it now? =] I hope you have enjoyed this ride called ‘Risa’s depression’ OTZ. And I do hope that you are all happy with this ending. =3 

Anon was here~~~~ - Thank you for beta reading! <3

Because I’m epic…. Here, an Omake!

“But… I’ll really, seriously marry you, Atsuko.” Minami told her and pinched her cheeks. “But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Pwomish whaa?” Acchan said with her cheeks pinched as she sniffed a little bit.

“I don’t want you to cry anymore.” Minami told her. She released Maeda’s pinched cheeks and caressed them. “If something is wrong… if something is hurting… you have to tell me. You must promise me this, okay?”

Maeda Atsuko just pouted at her again and nodded. “Un. Then Minami should too.”

“HNNNNNG. Acchan please stop doing that, I’m dying. And I don’t know how to deal with it!!!” Takamina thought and looked away for a bit from her moe girlfriend. “Yes, I promise that too of course,” She said and hugged her with her face going straight to her neck.

“I love you, Minami.”

“I love you too, Atsuko.”

(via satsunyan)